I went for a run this morning. I was surrounded on the run by families and couples living life. Some families consisted of a husband, wife, and dog. Others there was a husband and wife and a kid or several kids. Tonight at Olive Garden, I look around at families, couples, and groups of friends. In my heart lately, it longs for that. Now, I have an incredible family, but I am getting to that age where all my friends are already married, some even having kids, or are getting married. And this thought flew in my face, am I missing out? Is life passing by? Will I end up alone some day?
When these thoughts come, and lets me be honest they do, I have to regain perspective. I begin to look at my life. Just last night, I was at Incredible Pizza with my students, a group of INCREDIBLE students. They are my family right now. I don't have a husband, dog, or kids, but I do have my students. I love to put my whole life, love, and focus into them right now.
And then I look at my friends. I am surrounded with such a great group of people who are striving to help me through. These friends, many of them, have become like family. They have been there through the thick and thin for me. They have served right along side me, lifted my hands when they were too tired, and just been there to encourage me.
And when I look at the whole picture, I AM NOT MISSING OUT! Why? Because I am investing in the people in my life and following God's calling to be a youth pastor. Is life Passing me by? Absolutely, but I am living every second of it. Life moves quickly and I will move quickly with it and live every day to its fullest. Finally, will I end up alone some day? I don't think so. I know that God wants what is best for him, and if I will serve him in the way he has called he will not let me down. I just have to continue to be patient. I know that down the road there is a wonderful man who will be my husband, and we will have a family together. I can't wait!
But here's the deal. TODAY IS RIGHT NOW! There is so much to be discovered today. There is so much to be done.
And I want to LIVE MY LIFE TODAY and LOVE IT!
So to all my single friends out there...don't get discouraged! Hang in there and live the life God has called you to live today, and trust God to lead your life!
Love ya,
Pastor April
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
It's okay to be not be OKAY
There are things we don't talk about. Things we don't share. But tonight lets have an honesty moment...
There are times when you have to come face to face with reality. These times can be so hard. I usually cry. Especially when these moments involve letting go of things/places/people/memories that you love. Its like your heart gets ripped out and a portion of it is left behind. You want so badly to reach out and keep it, but you can't get past it until you let go and walk away. What you are grabbing for is no longer yours to have. Whether its a career change, financial set-back, a relationship, friendship, sickness, or the loss of a loved one to name a few.
I try to always pull off being the tough girl. However, sometimes I just gotta let it out. I am not strong alone-only by God's providing hand do I get through. And I have to come to grips with the fact that its okay to have a breakdown. Its okay to not have all the answers. Its okay to admit to emotions, pain, lack of control, and fear. Its okay to stand in this moment and watch everything around me fade. And in this moment as I collapse to the ground and as I come face to face with realization, I pray that God will give me the strength I need to keep breathing, fighting, believing, loving, and pursuing. AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL!
Why would I write such an emotional note right now? The reason is, in talking to a lot of you lately, lovely friends of mine, you are going through some of the same things-the TOUGH STUFF. Its hard to watch you try to stand there trying to be courageous when I see that inside you are breaking. Remember tonight, that is okay to admit weakness! Its okay to admit that you are not okay! Why? Because tonight God is there and HE CARES. And the Bible says this, that God's strength is perfected in your weakness!
So its okay to not be okay. Let God come tonight and help you through! May he comfort you like he has lately!
There are times when you have to come face to face with reality. These times can be so hard. I usually cry. Especially when these moments involve letting go of things/places/people/memories that you love. Its like your heart gets ripped out and a portion of it is left behind. You want so badly to reach out and keep it, but you can't get past it until you let go and walk away. What you are grabbing for is no longer yours to have. Whether its a career change, financial set-back, a relationship, friendship, sickness, or the loss of a loved one to name a few.
I try to always pull off being the tough girl. However, sometimes I just gotta let it out. I am not strong alone-only by God's providing hand do I get through. And I have to come to grips with the fact that its okay to have a breakdown. Its okay to not have all the answers. Its okay to admit to emotions, pain, lack of control, and fear. Its okay to stand in this moment and watch everything around me fade. And in this moment as I collapse to the ground and as I come face to face with realization, I pray that God will give me the strength I need to keep breathing, fighting, believing, loving, and pursuing. AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL!
Why would I write such an emotional note right now? The reason is, in talking to a lot of you lately, lovely friends of mine, you are going through some of the same things-the TOUGH STUFF. Its hard to watch you try to stand there trying to be courageous when I see that inside you are breaking. Remember tonight, that is okay to admit weakness! Its okay to admit that you are not okay! Why? Because tonight God is there and HE CARES. And the Bible says this, that God's strength is perfected in your weakness!
So its okay to not be okay. Let God come tonight and help you through! May he comfort you like he has lately!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
NOT A FUN QUOTE
Hardest think my Mom ever taught me. "If you love someone you will let them go and if they come back to you it was meant to be!"
Sunday, September 26, 2010
When you get too Tired...that is when you Keep Going!!!
When you are too Tired...that is when you Keep Going!
I had just got off work @ 3:30pm. I had already been up since 5am. I was hoping to go home and take a nap for an hour before going into the all night New's Year Eve Youth Event with a neighboring church. Of course, the minute my head hit the pillow, the calls started and never stopped. An hour later I got up as exhausted as I started. I survived the evening drinking 5 hour energy shots one after another. I know...terrible for your heart, but its the only thing I knew how to get through it. I even considered drinking coffee. (GAG) Thirty six hours of being awake later, I was sitting in the parking lot of the church waiting for a parent to come pick up their kids. Fantastic of course they were an hour late! I remember thinking...I am going to run this van off the road on the way home. My friend followed me to return the borrowed van from a neighboring church. When I finally got home, I fell into bed exhausted.
This is a typical story in my life as a bi-vocational minister. Everyone says, when you get exhausted that is when you need to take a break and rest. However, there are seasons in ministry when you will not be able to do this. In this moments when you are too tired that truly is when you have to keep going! You have to grip your teeth and just tell yourself that you can make it that next hour or that next day or that next week. I think sometimes the minute things get hard we want to throw in the towel.
However, for every one of those sleepless times of church work, I can say its was WORTH IT! Yes, it was worth it!!!! So remember when you get TOO tired, keep going because God will give you the strength that you need. I have a theory that God gives special strength to bi-vocational and volunteer and full time ministers!!!! He's got us...and just because we are tired its not a good excuse to give up!!! PRESS ON!!!
I had just got off work @ 3:30pm. I had already been up since 5am. I was hoping to go home and take a nap for an hour before going into the all night New's Year Eve Youth Event with a neighboring church. Of course, the minute my head hit the pillow, the calls started and never stopped. An hour later I got up as exhausted as I started. I survived the evening drinking 5 hour energy shots one after another. I know...terrible for your heart, but its the only thing I knew how to get through it. I even considered drinking coffee. (GAG) Thirty six hours of being awake later, I was sitting in the parking lot of the church waiting for a parent to come pick up their kids. Fantastic of course they were an hour late! I remember thinking...I am going to run this van off the road on the way home. My friend followed me to return the borrowed van from a neighboring church. When I finally got home, I fell into bed exhausted.
This is a typical story in my life as a bi-vocational minister. Everyone says, when you get exhausted that is when you need to take a break and rest. However, there are seasons in ministry when you will not be able to do this. In this moments when you are too tired that truly is when you have to keep going! You have to grip your teeth and just tell yourself that you can make it that next hour or that next day or that next week. I think sometimes the minute things get hard we want to throw in the towel.
However, for every one of those sleepless times of church work, I can say its was WORTH IT! Yes, it was worth it!!!! So remember when you get TOO tired, keep going because God will give you the strength that you need. I have a theory that God gives special strength to bi-vocational and volunteer and full time ministers!!!! He's got us...and just because we are tired its not a good excuse to give up!!! PRESS ON!!!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
When Everyone's NO is Answered by GOD's YES!
"When everyone's No is Answered by God's YES."
I was sitting in a Starbucks with Derek Henson. I was talking about wanting to start a youth ministry. He was staring at the paper with all the philosophies and ideas. You could see it on the tip of his tongue, "But April you don't have any students in our church." I remember telling my Pastor I wanted to start a youth ministry. I remember his answer, "April church plants don't have a youth ministry until they have at least been established 6 months. However, if you really feel like God is telling you to do this, then do it." I remember sitting with my first leadership team talking to them about Element and I heard their concerns, "But April what if no students come." I remember sitting in the school cafeteria for the first time thinking, "Why am I hear. This was a bad idea." I remember the conversations. "Hi..my name is April. I am a youth pastor in town. Um...we haven't had our first service, so we don't have any students yet, but you should come in October. We will have free pizza." I remember the first youth group. The fliers had been sent out, and a few students showed. Element Student Ministries was off and running.
Everyone told me that starting a youth ministry at the same time our church was starting was a bad idea. I will admit I wanted to side with them. I wanted to just take a seat on the back row and wait for the perfect time. However, God had a different plan. He had placed urgency in my heart and the more people said no--the more God said YES! So I did the unthinkable. I began to plan. Having no students in sight, but the middle school and high school within reaching distance. I had an insane vision, a dream with the supportive backing of only God HIMSELF.
There are times in ministry when you may hear everyone saying NO and know that God is saying YES. This may put you in a place between a rock and a hard place. The people that mean the most to you, may tell you that you have lost your mind. Your most endearing friends may walk away from you because they consider you to have gone crazy. However, if it is GOD saying YES...then do it! Why? Because you know if God has said yes, then he is backing you up. And when God is backing you up, I am not saying that ministry will be easy, but I am saying that you will be able to make it. You will watch God do through you what few have every been able to accomplish!
I was sitting in a Starbucks with Derek Henson. I was talking about wanting to start a youth ministry. He was staring at the paper with all the philosophies and ideas. You could see it on the tip of his tongue, "But April you don't have any students in our church." I remember telling my Pastor I wanted to start a youth ministry. I remember his answer, "April church plants don't have a youth ministry until they have at least been established 6 months. However, if you really feel like God is telling you to do this, then do it." I remember sitting with my first leadership team talking to them about Element and I heard their concerns, "But April what if no students come." I remember sitting in the school cafeteria for the first time thinking, "Why am I hear. This was a bad idea." I remember the conversations. "Hi..my name is April. I am a youth pastor in town. Um...we haven't had our first service, so we don't have any students yet, but you should come in October. We will have free pizza." I remember the first youth group. The fliers had been sent out, and a few students showed. Element Student Ministries was off and running.
Everyone told me that starting a youth ministry at the same time our church was starting was a bad idea. I will admit I wanted to side with them. I wanted to just take a seat on the back row and wait for the perfect time. However, God had a different plan. He had placed urgency in my heart and the more people said no--the more God said YES! So I did the unthinkable. I began to plan. Having no students in sight, but the middle school and high school within reaching distance. I had an insane vision, a dream with the supportive backing of only God HIMSELF.
There are times in ministry when you may hear everyone saying NO and know that God is saying YES. This may put you in a place between a rock and a hard place. The people that mean the most to you, may tell you that you have lost your mind. Your most endearing friends may walk away from you because they consider you to have gone crazy. However, if it is GOD saying YES...then do it! Why? Because you know if God has said yes, then he is backing you up. And when God is backing you up, I am not saying that ministry will be easy, but I am saying that you will be able to make it. You will watch God do through you what few have every been able to accomplish!
Monday, September 6, 2010
JUST RELAX
"Just RELAX!" I was sitting in church this weekend. Pastor Jonathan was winding down with his sermon and God kept whispering to my heart to respond to him. As soon as response time started I was on my knees telling God how much I needed him. It was not long until the tears began to spill down my face and I just poured my heart out to God. I told him everything that I was feeling lately, my hurts, fears, rejections, scares, questions, concerns, dreams, and anxious thoughts. I spilled it all out! I felt God's presence wash over me and him gently placed his arm on my shoulder whispering to me, "Just RELAX...trust that I have got ya!" In that moment all my trust issues dissolved, I let go, and trusted God. In that moment all the burdens I had been carrying fell of and I had this "AWE" moment where I felt FREE!
I think some days the words "Just RELAX" are not in my vocabulary. I am a workaholic. I find most signifigance in getting lots done. So that already was a tough pill too swallow. Pastor April....just APRIL at the core of myself....RELAX? It was a crazy thought!
Then God threw out the trust word! TRUST....TRUST GOD! Like Pastor Jonathan was saying, "Why do we fight trusting God. We act like if we trust him he will mess everything up." That is me a lot of times. I feel like if I trust God, he will run off like the next guy or he will hurt me or he will mess things up! However, I realized that God is the one who created TRUST! Why do I not trust HIM! I relized that RELAXATION and TRUSTING GOD....go hand in hand.
You cannot RELAX on a daily basis until you are fully TRUSTING that God is in control of your life!
I know that maybe you have already had all of this figured out, but for me this hit me in the face this weekend and I thought I would share!
So if you need to "JUST RELAX" (Even if you are a workaholic like me) then its time to FULLY TRUST GOD! When you fully trust God you can have that "AWE" moment when the weight of the burdens fall off your back and you know that God's got ya!
Lets TRUST HIM and JUST RELAX this week!
I think some days the words "Just RELAX" are not in my vocabulary. I am a workaholic. I find most signifigance in getting lots done. So that already was a tough pill too swallow. Pastor April....just APRIL at the core of myself....RELAX? It was a crazy thought!
Then God threw out the trust word! TRUST....TRUST GOD! Like Pastor Jonathan was saying, "Why do we fight trusting God. We act like if we trust him he will mess everything up." That is me a lot of times. I feel like if I trust God, he will run off like the next guy or he will hurt me or he will mess things up! However, I realized that God is the one who created TRUST! Why do I not trust HIM! I relized that RELAXATION and TRUSTING GOD....go hand in hand.
You cannot RELAX on a daily basis until you are fully TRUSTING that God is in control of your life!
I know that maybe you have already had all of this figured out, but for me this hit me in the face this weekend and I thought I would share!
So if you need to "JUST RELAX" (Even if you are a workaholic like me) then its time to FULLY TRUST GOD! When you fully trust God you can have that "AWE" moment when the weight of the burdens fall off your back and you know that God's got ya!
Lets TRUST HIM and JUST RELAX this week!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Laughter
Laughter! A chuckle, the belly laugh, the dainty laugh, the busting at the seams laugh, the snort laugh, the hyena laugh, the quiet laugh, the tempered laugh, and the hearty laugh. I LOVE LAUGHTER! Is there a like button for this on facebook? Sign up me on the Laugher Member Page. I AM A FAN OF LAUGHTER!!!! For those of you who know me, you know this to be a fact!!!
Laughter is good medicine. It brings healing to the soul. When you choose to laugh, you choose the joy that God intended for your life. God even says that the joy of the Lord is your strength, which makes me wonder why so many Christians go around frowning all the time! WHY? You have an amazing God who not only created you but things that you are absolutely amazing. He created laughter and joy. He created your face to smile!
And I know that sometimes we feel like life just stinks. Take for instance my morning yesterday. I stubbed my finger, five minutes later stubbed my toe, and then I spilled my Dr. Pepper. By the time I spilled my Dr. Pepper I was ticked. Inside—my temper was yelling—THIS DAY IS GONNA STINK. And then I stopped to think about it. My finger and toe still throbbing and Dr. Pepper all over me equals a hilarious picture! I had to laugh!!!!
And I know you aren’t always going to laugh. I am not trying to make light of the really tough stuff that you will face in life. Not everything is a laughing matter, but I think you are in serious trouble if laughter has ceased from your life!
SO LAUGH ON MY FRIEND…..LAUGH ON!!!!
Laughter is good medicine. It brings healing to the soul. When you choose to laugh, you choose the joy that God intended for your life. God even says that the joy of the Lord is your strength, which makes me wonder why so many Christians go around frowning all the time! WHY? You have an amazing God who not only created you but things that you are absolutely amazing. He created laughter and joy. He created your face to smile!
And I know that sometimes we feel like life just stinks. Take for instance my morning yesterday. I stubbed my finger, five minutes later stubbed my toe, and then I spilled my Dr. Pepper. By the time I spilled my Dr. Pepper I was ticked. Inside—my temper was yelling—THIS DAY IS GONNA STINK. And then I stopped to think about it. My finger and toe still throbbing and Dr. Pepper all over me equals a hilarious picture! I had to laugh!!!!
And I know you aren’t always going to laugh. I am not trying to make light of the really tough stuff that you will face in life. Not everything is a laughing matter, but I think you are in serious trouble if laughter has ceased from your life!
SO LAUGH ON MY FRIEND…..LAUGH ON!!!!
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