The power of Prayer

There is something about staring your dying Grandpa in the eyes and trying to tell him to have faith in God, that God loves him and can work in a miracle in his situation. I don't know about you, but in moments like this I don't feel much like a woman of faith, nontheless a Pastor. Its hard to stand up for your faith with family. You want to make them understand so badly their need to just trust in God.

Over the past month, I have watched my Grandpa grow weaker and weaker, losing more weight than I ever thought possible. I can see what the cancer is doing to him. I hear more reports from doctors than I ever care to hear. They all are at best the worst scenario. In moments like this, its tough to remind yourself that God is bigger!

Right now, I don't know what to feel. One of my heroes is dying, and there is nothing I can do but pray. I know prayer seems a little weak to me at the moment, but I remind myself of its power. Knowing the power of prayer, I wanted to ask you guys to please pray for my Grandpa and my family.

Specifically, pray my Grandpa would accept Jesus Christ into his heart. Pray that he would be healed of cancer, pray for my step-grandma trying to take care of him, and pray for my family who is very torn up about this whole situation.

An Average Day in the mind of a youth pastor

Today I am planning for Element! There is so much that goes into youth pastoring, the stuff that no one ever see's, besides those closest to you.

Today I am trying to figure out how to disciple students. It is not always easy. I am going to give you a glimpse into what is on my mind today. If you have any tips or advice, I welcome it!

1. I want to start managing my time better.
• Get better Rest/Exercise
• Put my relationship with Christ #1
• Make time for the LOST
• Make prayer an absolute must
• Take time out for Relaxing/friends/social life/thinking/Doing what I love

2. I want to start walking in faith!
• Actively believing for flat out miracles in students lives. (Freedom from drugs, addiction, redemption in broken families)
• Begin to think risky. Be willing to do “Untraditional Things” with my life personally and as a Pastor.
• Wait/Trust in God. (For a move of God in myself, in Element, with my future/ bringing along my husband, etc.)

3. I want to begin to DREAM Big Again.
• I want to do what has never been done before.
• See God do the impossible and laugh in Satan’s face!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Coffee shop????
• Radical new discipleship???
• What to do with all the time I put into Liberty? Can I find a better job to lead me to a better avenue to reach Willard? Start a coffee shop?????
• Or do I need to keep my Liberty job and just believe God to open doors despite 40 hrs being given to my job?

4. Be creative!
• How can we make Element different?
• A place where God is free to move?
• Not stiff in a schedule service and structure. Yes we will be structured, but not so structured that God can’t mess up our service.
• How do we begin to truly disciple these not so “unchurched” students anymore?
• How do we disciple students who are still very much living “IN SIN” outside of Element? How do we help them get free from sin?
• How do we engage the guys in Willard?
• How do we grow? By sending out students out to be our greatest promoters!
• How do we manage what we have and help students grow deeply in love with God?

Service:
• Pre-Service Prayer
• Creativity in Presentation. (Video/skits/energy/serious/drama???????)
• Worship—how do we make it not routine???
• Sermon—How I present it??? (Change/random/entertaining, but in purpose not to entertain….but teach students how to love God.
• Altar Time—How do we keep if fresh—keep students connecting with God?

Outside of Service:
• Develop discipleship. (One-on-One/Group? Small groups, but where?)
• Mentoring Program—Teach leaders how to mentor students
• Develop relationships—Focus more on beings strategic about “LIVING LIFE” with students!

Thoughts:

• Do more sermon series focus, with discipleship follow up????
• Be Ahead of schedule/with videos/service ideas.
• Hang out with at least one student a week outside of Element Service

Readability

Readability. The dictionary definition is the state or quality of being readable. Every author wants readability for their book. They want people to not only read it but understand it. They want everything to flow. Its all out there on paper: their thoughts, their passions, what statement they are trying to make. Its out in the open to be read by all. An extension of themselves on paper to either be embraced by another or tossed aside.

I like a good readable book, most people who are readers would agree. However, do you realize that our lives are readable? Every day someone is reading you, and your actions are telling a story! For those of us striving to live for God and point others to the Kingdom of God, this should be a good reminder. How I act is telling a story that people around me read.

What story are people reading through the actions of your life today?

The hand of God Favor

I had a conversation the other night with a youth leader of mine. In it I received one of the best compliments of my life. He said, "April the strength of you as a leader is not that you are always the best at everything, but the fact that you have lived a life of purity and the ears of God hear your cries and the favor of God follows you. Everything you touch God blesses. You may not be the best at something, but he will align you with someone who will help make the best happen. Everything you touch, the favor of God seems to come upon and make into gold."

I began to think about the favor/blessing of God. God favor aligns you in a place where your life will bring him glory. You might be successful, but its not to point a finger at yourself and say--LOOK at ME! Rather, people look at your life and say look at what God is doing through her.

I think being in church planting provides the perfect opportunity to shout a life that proves that God really does bless those who remain true to him and follow him out of devotion to His heart. I think of Element. Last week, we had 29 students filling a gym. In a little over nine months--LOOK WHAT GOD HAS DONE. I founded Element with no ideas on how to plant a youth ministry! God really did breath his favor over it. He has brought the funds, leaders, and miracles.

So my question to you today is, "Are you living a life worth of God breathing his favor over?"

Random Confessions!

"I'd rather be the woman who passionately pursued the heart of God than a woman who grabbed hold of all else and was completely empty. I desire to be a woman so desperately in love with her King that there is nothing she won't do for him, whether a man walks by her side or whether she walks alone."

I wrote these words a couple years ago! I don't remember all the details of that day, but I remember being in the CBC chapel with tears streaming down my face. It was a year when the Lord told me of what he was requiring of me for my life. It was a year of realizing that to truly follow God's calling for me would be one of the hardest things I would ever do. I realize this to be true! The people in my life who tried to shape my calling to the norm. The 58 rejections from churches this summer, along with numerous discouraging moments this summer all but took all I was. The times when I didn't know how I was going to provide for myself, the times when I didn't even have enough money for food or gas. The moments when things were hardest, were the moments when I realized that pursuing God's calling was indeed one of the hardest things I would ever face! The loneliness of walking alone sometimes. The realization that a silent apartment brings to you at night!

However, there is nothing more rewarding than pursuing God's calling. You see the Lord opened up doors...amazing doors. It was untraditional and raw. It was definitely unchartered territory! It is still. I don't feel alone because I have my students....and until God brings the man of my dreams into my life that has to be enough for me! God brings fulfillment in pouring my heart and all into ministry. I work at a bank to provide a way for me to do my passion. I don't feel empty at night because I am pursuing the heart of God as a woman youth pastor. I am pursueing something worthwhile. I desire to see a geneartion of students saved from a life of sin...a culture of sin! I have realized my worth in the love of Christ and there is nothing I won't do out of my love for Him.

Call me crazy....but I'll tell you that I am MOST ALIVE! Yeah...its tough. I'm not gonna lie. Just tonight I talked with my Mom about how lonely I was feeling and the struggles I was facing. However, I know....with as much emphatic zeal as could possibly fill my heart that its GONNA BE WORTH IT! :)

Are we willing?

Dare to dream with me tonight! Dream of what God could do in this generation! Dream with me of how we can go into communities that are lost and figure out how to do church! We serve a huge God! We serve a God who can do so much more than we can comprehend! Are we willing to go after the hard to reach places in America? Are we willing? Think about it tonight!

Dialogue from ny life!

Sometimes I think of my life and what kind of dialogue one would write about it. I wonder if one would laugh, cry, sing, smile, or hurt when they read about my life. At times, I feel like my life is a hilarious dialogue, at others times I feel like it is an insane dichotomy. I just wonder....

There are times when I feel like picking up a pen and beginning to write about all that is happening. So tonight I will begin to dialogue about life....

Lately, God has been talking to me about surrender and sacrifice. I am realizing that only in losing everything sometimes can extraordinary worship happen, extraoridinary miracles, extraordinary acts of service...etc! About a month ago, God asked me what had happened to my extraordinary love for him and my extraordinary dreams of what He wanted to do in my life. I had to open up my eyes to the true fact that somewhere along the line...I had gotten caught up in doing and being....and not becoming who God wanted me to be! It was shocking...

You see over this past year, I developed amazing friendships and bonds with people. I graduated CBC. I got my first job in the secular workplace. I got over 85 rejections from churches. I received two invitations to serve at churches that were not Gods will. I turned those churches down. I got called to Willard and church planting. I, by Gods help, developed a youth ministry. I struggled financially like I have never known before. I was unable to pay my bills at times. I was laid off. God provided a new job. I dealt with relationship issues. I found myself feeling lonely. I found myself having to live life ALONE!

Yet...in the midst of everything...I learned so much! I learned sacrificing everything for the call. I learned letting go and trusting God. I learned that if you love something you will give it to God and if he gives it back to you it was meant to be. I learned to lead my heart and not always follow it. I learned I was selfish. I learned I did not know it all...and outside of miracles from GOd...most of the time I would not make it!

SO I was not surprised this week when the Lord asked me for everything. I have been giving him most of myself--85% or more. But with startling clarity God asked me for all of myself. He asked me to return to him as my one and TRUE LOVE! So....if you see me retreating into the arms of Jesus...don't judge me! Help me to become a woman who gives God 100%. I really believe this!

"The World has yet to see what woman fully devoted to God can accomplish!"

Confession....Good for the soul?

James 5:16 "Confess your tresspasses to one another, and pray for one another that you may be healed...."

What is confession so hard? We seem to run from it so hard. I find that even when I am with my accountability group the last thing I want to confess is the areas I am really struggling with. Sometimes I talk around them, talk about lesser evils. But those areas in my life never go away....the areas I hide. However, when I am finally open and tell my friends....they pray for me and healing can come. Healing from sin, dissapointments, guilt! Confession is indeed a great thing.

I think one of the biggest reasons why confession is so hard is that we do not trust people! I will be the first to admit that as a Pastor the last thing I want to do is confess an area of struggle to someone who is going to spread it to the world! However, that's not a good excuse to not confess!

Just....a random thought today from the Word!

My need to open up!

Lets be honest! I don't do the being open and honest deal very well. Tonight I was sitting the car with one of my best friends...and I just couldn't open up about deep things in my life. Lately, I have really been hiding. The sad thing is that the people closest to me see this helpless attempt to hide! haha....Tonight I am just thinking how I wish the Lord would help me to really open up to people!

God's Best!

It was a few springs ago. I was in Denver, Colorado, with my team of students from CBC. I was leading a team to minister to inner city Denver. It was at this church that I met this Pastor. She was a beautiful woman. I knew she had been through a lot because she had a baby a couple months before with a whole in its heart. I met her husband. He was this big Samoan man. I remember thinking, "How does a beautiful blond woman end up with this big Samoan man!" Right about the time I was thinking this she told me a story I will never forget. She told me a story of how a few months before she had gone through this awful experience of her baby being born with a hole in its heart. One Sunday she was at church with her husband and the Pastor said if anyone needs a miracle to come down to the altar to pray. She said she felt so tired that day, but got up to go down. She said in that moment her husband reached out and grabbed her hand and said, "No hun you just sit today. I am going to go and fight for our family in prayer. You can just sit and rest." She told me in that moment that this was the type of man I should desire and not settle until I ment him!

I have no idea why watching Bride Wars reminding me of this story tonight. But I was just thinking of the worlds warped view of relationships and the roles in relationships. Maybe its Valentines Day coming up, but I just know one thing.....God intended relationships to be like the one above with the Pastor and her Samoan husband. God intended men to be the leaders in relationships.....and lead their families to God! I just thought of how beautiful relationships are when they are done God's way. I think of my parents who are an example of this....and it makes me praise the Lord for those who are examples to us who are younger! I pray that in our culture we will be reminded of how relationships should be and that we will not settle for anything less than God's best for us! I will leave with this. My Mom always told me that there is good and then there is Best! She said its really easy to settle for good! But only the brave and those who really trust God with their lives wait for the BEST! I pray that all of you will not settle except for Gods best for you!