Lately I have felt it more than ever! At night I wake up and it is the first thing on my mind. During the day, I dream of it. I feel it growing bigger and bigger in my heart. I feel my heart breaking more and more. What I am feeling more than ever is my calling to be a youth pastor. It has always been there, but lately it is like God is reawakening in me the burden, the vision, the brokeness, the passion, and the emotion for young people in this generation.
I was in JRA's parking lot a few weeks ago. It had been a phenomenal youth service at Real Life. I was sitting in my car because in that moment God was reminding me of my calling. He was speaking to my heart that I was a youth pastor and he was going to use me in students lives in an even greater way than I have ever known to this point! I began to weep at the thought of being a spiritual mentor, a Pastor to students. It is such a great task....but the call for me to be this is so deep inside of me....I weep to think of being able to reach students!
The other day I was at work! A friend of mine sent me an email of a clip from an ATF event! It was at an ATF event that I first seriously gave my heart to God. I began to weep as I watched this clip. Ron Luce was preaching and at one point he cries out...."Who wants the cross more than all else. Who will take a stand in this generation and say that they want the cross more than all else." In the crowd this student cries out, "I want the cross." That is followed by others...and soon their are students filling the altars crying out among the crowd...I want the cross! I began to weep at work...because there it was again...that calling to preach to students!
I break for this generation. Nothing makes me cry easier than seeing students fall in love with Jesus. Nothing makes me cry harder than when one of my students walks away from God. I am a ruined person. Nothing else matters to me than reaching these students! I look out into this generation and I see millions of facing crying out for many things. I only wonder if they will ever get the chance to choose the cross! I only wonder if they will ever be told the truth...and given the opportunity to scream, "I want the cross."
I pray that I never get to the place where I don't break for students, where their faces don't propel me to do something and take risks in order to reach them!
