Am I missing OUT?

I went for a run this morning. I was surrounded on the run by families and couples living life. Some families consisted of a husband, wife, and dog. Others there was a husband and wife and a kid or several kids. Tonight at Olive Garden, I look around at families, couples, and groups of friends. In my heart lately, it longs for that. Now, I have an incredible family, but I am getting to that age where all my friends are already married, some even having kids, or are getting married. And this thought flew in my face, am I missing out? Is life passing by? Will I end up alone some day?

When these thoughts come, and lets me be honest they do, I have to regain perspective. I begin to look at my life. Just last night, I was at Incredible Pizza with my students, a group of INCREDIBLE students. They are my family right now. I don't have a husband, dog, or kids, but I do have my students. I love to put my whole life, love, and focus into them right now.

And then I look at my friends. I am surrounded with such a great group of people who are striving to help me through. These friends, many of them, have become like family. They have been there through the thick and thin for me. They have served right along side me, lifted my hands when they were too tired, and just been there to encourage me.

And when I look at the whole picture, I AM NOT MISSING OUT! Why? Because I am investing in the people in my life and following God's calling to be a youth pastor. Is life Passing me by? Absolutely, but I am living every second of it. Life moves quickly and I will move quickly with it and live every day to its fullest. Finally, will I end up alone some day? I don't think so. I know that God wants what is best for him, and if I will serve him in the way he has called he will not let me down. I just have to continue to be patient. I know that down the road there is a wonderful man who will be my husband, and we will have a family together. I can't wait!

But here's the deal. TODAY IS RIGHT NOW! There is so much to be discovered today. There is so much to be done.

And I want to LIVE MY LIFE TODAY and LOVE IT!

So to all my single friends out there...don't get discouraged! Hang in there and live the life God has called you to live today, and trust God to lead your life!

Love ya,

Pastor April

It's okay to be not be OKAY

There are things we don't talk about. Things we don't share. But tonight lets have an honesty moment...

There are times when you have to come face to face with reality. These times can be so hard. I usually cry. Especially when these moments involve letting go of things/places/people/memories that you love. Its like your heart gets ripped out and a portion of it is left behind. You want so badly to reach out and keep it, but you can't get past it until you let go and walk away. What you are grabbing for is no longer yours to have. Whether its a career change, financial set-back, a relationship, friendship, sickness, or the loss of a loved one to name a few.

I try to always pull off being the tough girl. However, sometimes I just gotta let it out. I am not strong alone-only by God's providing hand do I get through. And I have to come to grips with the fact that its okay to have a breakdown. Its okay to not have all the answers. Its okay to admit to emotions, pain, lack of control, and fear. Its okay to stand in this moment and watch everything around me fade. And in this moment as I collapse to the ground and as I come face to face with realization, I pray that God will give me the strength I need to keep breathing, fighting, believing, loving, and pursuing. AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL!

Why would I write such an emotional note right now? The reason is, in talking to a lot of you lately, lovely friends of mine, you are going through some of the same things-the TOUGH STUFF. Its hard to watch you try to stand there trying to be courageous when I see that inside you are breaking. Remember tonight, that is okay to admit weakness! Its okay to admit that you are not okay! Why? Because tonight God is there and HE CARES. And the Bible says this, that God's strength is perfected in your weakness!

So its okay to not be okay. Let God come tonight and help you through! May he comfort you like he has lately!

NOT A FUN QUOTE

Hardest think my Mom ever taught me. "If you love someone you will let them go and if they come back to you it was meant to be!"