Emotions are numbing sometimes. You know how you have felt for so long, but you hide it deep down. However, some days it comes up and stares you in the face. It is pointless to deny it, because you know that is has been there all along. But to feel it is harder than to bury it.
Tonight I had to face my emotions yet again. I thought I had conquered them, had them under control and then Bam. Just kidding! It was really a tough moment for me. They were right there again.
So I must wonder what to do with them tonight. It is a good thing that I can again hand them up to God. Hand the source of the emotions up to God. In his Hands, they are yet again secure. He will work all things about for the good of me and my heart.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Monument Place
I find myself in a place where I want to build a monument dedicated to all the things my Lord Jesus Christ has done in my life. I think that there would be far to many stones to stack in a neat little pile. I imagine that the pile would go on and on for miles. To truly think of all the things my God does for me on a daily basis astounds me. To think that God looked down upon the entire Universe and chose me to be his daughter and his agent to be a youth pastor and reach a generation of students.
Call me crazy, but this is what drives me. There is still so much to be done; so many more stones to be thrown in that stack, but the responsibility lies in my hands. There is a world to reach, but I can choose to do nothing about it. Should I be happy with a gathering of students, when there is a middle school and high school more of students who are devoid of a life with God? Who am I to pretend that the homelessness that is becoming more and more prevalent on the street is okay? Who am I to not give a rip about another family getting ruined by a divorce? Who am I to think that I have somehow arrived?
The fact of the matter is, sometimes in staring at the monument we don’t move beyond it to make a new monument. The point of life is not to make one great huge monument and camp out there. The point is to keep going, keep believing, keep risking, keep walking, keep jumping, keep seeing when no one else can, keep praying, keep working, keep trusting….and keep living out this GOD LIFE!
Tonight I talked with my students and saw in them the attitude I want to develop. When God gives you a challenge, you take it on, not just partially but with guts. Keep believing God that today just might be the day that He will yet again do a great work.
I don’t know about you, but I am folding my chair up and hitting the road. I am ready to see some serious God stuff happen in my personal life, Carpenters House, Element Student Ministries, my leaders lives, students lives, and the lives of the people I work with!
Call me crazy, but this is what drives me. There is still so much to be done; so many more stones to be thrown in that stack, but the responsibility lies in my hands. There is a world to reach, but I can choose to do nothing about it. Should I be happy with a gathering of students, when there is a middle school and high school more of students who are devoid of a life with God? Who am I to pretend that the homelessness that is becoming more and more prevalent on the street is okay? Who am I to not give a rip about another family getting ruined by a divorce? Who am I to think that I have somehow arrived?
The fact of the matter is, sometimes in staring at the monument we don’t move beyond it to make a new monument. The point of life is not to make one great huge monument and camp out there. The point is to keep going, keep believing, keep risking, keep walking, keep jumping, keep seeing when no one else can, keep praying, keep working, keep trusting….and keep living out this GOD LIFE!
Tonight I talked with my students and saw in them the attitude I want to develop. When God gives you a challenge, you take it on, not just partially but with guts. Keep believing God that today just might be the day that He will yet again do a great work.
I don’t know about you, but I am folding my chair up and hitting the road. I am ready to see some serious God stuff happen in my personal life, Carpenters House, Element Student Ministries, my leaders lives, students lives, and the lives of the people I work with!
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