HIS LOVE

There is nothing like your Grandpa dying to draw you to some new perspectives....to draw you to a new place...to draw you back to where you have come from. This week has been tough. I have shed more tears, been more vulnerable, then I have allowed myself to be in years. The truth is my heart is shouting this week--I AM NOT ALLRIGHT! However, we get through life. No matter how hard it is, no matter how hard we mourn, no matter how many tears are shed, the week continues on.

This week I lost my Grandpa and I let go of a love that I was not entitled to. It was tough. When things leave--when you have to let go all at the same time--IT HURTS. I am hurting today, but in the midst of it all, God's love is so huge. It envelops my heart in the midst of mourning and letting go. God reminds me its okay to not be allright....its okay to mourn and its okay to be broken.

Thank you God for your love at this very moment.

What to do....?

In life there are moments when you wish that you could get a direct yes or no answer. However, there are moments that are more complicated. In fact, more is at stake. The entire direction and course of your life will be changed by one decision. These are not easy moments. In fact, these are the moments that draw me to the Word and make me ask, "God what do you want me to do?"
Sometimes I expect a flash of lightening, a thundering voice from the sky telling me what to do. However, that is not often the answer I get. Often the answer I get is the peace that comes when I walk in the right direction. When I am headed the wrong way I have to walk past several warning signs and pretty much ignore God.

So this brings me to the place I am at this very second. I could easily force something. I could easily avoid. I could easily choose the easy choice. I could easily just BE!

Or I could open myself up to God and allow him to speak....allow him to direct my steps......

Tired confessions of a bi-vocational youth pastor!

Today is one of those days. Ever have them??? I am having one of those days. The honest truth is that I am ready for a change. I am ready for a breakthrough. I am ready to see God move. However, today was just one of those days. I feel so beat up--but then I look to my God. He is so huge and everything else is so small compared to him!

So what do I do when I am facing this day--I know that my God will bring the breakthrough soon. I don't give up when the problems seem bigger than the solutions. I don't give up even when rest seems like such a distant pleasure! I will not back down!

God help me today....I am tired!

There are times when I feel alone in this place--a bi-vocational minister. Then i am reminded that the strongest man stands beside me--HIS NAME JESUS CHRIST!