Faith steps

"Many of us are living a false narrative that is based on experience rather than faith. Faith turns the page & trusts the author." Doug Reed

I read this quote tonight. I am very rational at times. I only want to attempt to do what I know I can do or have experienced. However, when it comes to calling and life, God sometimes demands that we rely on faith. Faith will attempt something impossible. Faith does not know the end in advance. Faith trust that God knows what he is doing.

And to be honest...this challenges me at this very moment! It demands that I take some faith steps in my own life.

What faith steps are you needing to take towards what God is wanting you to do?

A moment out of my league!

There have been several moments in my life that I do not know what to do, where to go, or how to respond. Right now, I am living this moment. This moment is challenging my faith. It is asking me, "Do you have enough faith to believe that God really will take you to the right place. The place that He is calling you?"

All I know is that I am ready to reach students! I am ready to pour my life into teenagers! This is my goal and aim!

Tomorrow I fly out to Montana to look into a ministry opportunity there. Its an adventure. Its weird to think about life change. I, also, this week was given an opportunity locally to youth pastor to at risk teenagers. Which one should I choose? I wish the answers were easy! :)

However, in the midst of this huge process, I know one thing! I know that in this moment God has not changed. In this moment, God knows exactly where I need to go! He knows exactly what needs to be done! In this moment, God is very present! God will lead me!

And in this moment when I feel out of my league! God is right here in the middle of his league!

SIMPLE & BLUNT...THE WAY GOD can SPEAK!

God can sometimes speak to us in simple and blunt ways! Right now, I am in a place of transition in my life. I don't necessarily know what the 'next step' is. I have thought more than I ever thought possible. I wore my brain out trying to figure out possibilities and got overwhelmed by what seemed to be impossibilities. I have felt afraid and scared to move forward. I have felt trapped where I am at. My heart is with students and teenagers. And somehow I have been forgetting that God gave me that desire and he can open up the right door to minister to them.



Last week I was sitting in my cube at work feeling remorse and regret for not even attempting to take a risk. And this is the moment that God spoke to me in a simple and blunt way through a friend. My friend came up to me and I was asking, "Would you not do something based on__________ (insert my latest fear)! My friend looked at me and simply and bluntly spoke these words. "April look around you." So I did! All I around me I saw what he was seeing. In my cube I surround myself with quotes on faith and God doing the impossible and never giving up. I am one of those people who is crazy enough to believe that God can work miracles and God can do something when there seems to be nothing. I have lived this reality. I looked up and said to my friend. "Yeah I see it!" He then said the words that God has used in my life this past week. Simple and blunt, but true words! "April you surround yourself with quotes on faith, but do you apply it. You preached to your students and taught us as leaders to always attempt great things. Why would you stop now."



I left that conversation reminded of a powerful lesson. Don't let doubt creep in and stop you from the amazing things God has for you to accomplish. How lame to wake up five years from now and realize that you didn't take the risk, accept the challenge, or even attempt. Look, right now, I have no idea what is going to happen, how it will happen, or how I will afford it all. YET GOD DOES...AND HE IS NEVER CAUGHT BY SURPRISE!



I just know that its time for me to apply FAITH! To you my wonderful friends...pray with me along this journey right now that God will give me faith that I have never had before. And I pray for you as well, that the Lord will give you faith as well right now to do everything he has for you!

A poem on Awaiting my LOVE!

My Love Awaits You

Right now its almost Valentines Day yet again. Around me is a swirl of hearts: red, pink and white. Red roses and chocolates are on demand. Couples swarm the restaurants. And in the midst of all the swirl...yet again I still wait.

I don't know where you are at tonight. I wonder about you sometimes. I wonder when we will meet. I wonder what our lives will look like when we come together. I know that we will do extraordinary things for GOD.

And so tonight I stare out again at all the loving couples and wait for you. I wait for you because I know that your love will be true and its worth the wait. I save my kisses and my love deep inside.

I am ready now to meet you. I wish it were tonight. But for now I have to be content to wait for you. Valentines Day will soon be over and life will continue to move forwards. My status on facebook will not change.

However, one things remains! I await you. I await a true love that we will share. I cannot wait till that day!

And so tonight I am hopeful because I dream of you. I dream of the man you are becoming. A man fully in love with God and dedicated to his cause. A man worth waiting for and following and spending my life with forever!

So tonight I await your love...I await the day when I can call you mine!

Am I missing OUT?

I went for a run this morning. I was surrounded on the run by families and couples living life. Some families consisted of a husband, wife, and dog. Others there was a husband and wife and a kid or several kids. Tonight at Olive Garden, I look around at families, couples, and groups of friends. In my heart lately, it longs for that. Now, I have an incredible family, but I am getting to that age where all my friends are already married, some even having kids, or are getting married. And this thought flew in my face, am I missing out? Is life passing by? Will I end up alone some day?

When these thoughts come, and lets me be honest they do, I have to regain perspective. I begin to look at my life. Just last night, I was at Incredible Pizza with my students, a group of INCREDIBLE students. They are my family right now. I don't have a husband, dog, or kids, but I do have my students. I love to put my whole life, love, and focus into them right now.

And then I look at my friends. I am surrounded with such a great group of people who are striving to help me through. These friends, many of them, have become like family. They have been there through the thick and thin for me. They have served right along side me, lifted my hands when they were too tired, and just been there to encourage me.

And when I look at the whole picture, I AM NOT MISSING OUT! Why? Because I am investing in the people in my life and following God's calling to be a youth pastor. Is life Passing me by? Absolutely, but I am living every second of it. Life moves quickly and I will move quickly with it and live every day to its fullest. Finally, will I end up alone some day? I don't think so. I know that God wants what is best for him, and if I will serve him in the way he has called he will not let me down. I just have to continue to be patient. I know that down the road there is a wonderful man who will be my husband, and we will have a family together. I can't wait!

But here's the deal. TODAY IS RIGHT NOW! There is so much to be discovered today. There is so much to be done.

And I want to LIVE MY LIFE TODAY and LOVE IT!

So to all my single friends out there...don't get discouraged! Hang in there and live the life God has called you to live today, and trust God to lead your life!

Love ya,

Pastor April

It's okay to be not be OKAY

There are things we don't talk about. Things we don't share. But tonight lets have an honesty moment...

There are times when you have to come face to face with reality. These times can be so hard. I usually cry. Especially when these moments involve letting go of things/places/people/memories that you love. Its like your heart gets ripped out and a portion of it is left behind. You want so badly to reach out and keep it, but you can't get past it until you let go and walk away. What you are grabbing for is no longer yours to have. Whether its a career change, financial set-back, a relationship, friendship, sickness, or the loss of a loved one to name a few.

I try to always pull off being the tough girl. However, sometimes I just gotta let it out. I am not strong alone-only by God's providing hand do I get through. And I have to come to grips with the fact that its okay to have a breakdown. Its okay to not have all the answers. Its okay to admit to emotions, pain, lack of control, and fear. Its okay to stand in this moment and watch everything around me fade. And in this moment as I collapse to the ground and as I come face to face with realization, I pray that God will give me the strength I need to keep breathing, fighting, believing, loving, and pursuing. AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL!

Why would I write such an emotional note right now? The reason is, in talking to a lot of you lately, lovely friends of mine, you are going through some of the same things-the TOUGH STUFF. Its hard to watch you try to stand there trying to be courageous when I see that inside you are breaking. Remember tonight, that is okay to admit weakness! Its okay to admit that you are not okay! Why? Because tonight God is there and HE CARES. And the Bible says this, that God's strength is perfected in your weakness!

So its okay to not be okay. Let God come tonight and help you through! May he comfort you like he has lately!

NOT A FUN QUOTE

Hardest think my Mom ever taught me. "If you love someone you will let them go and if they come back to you it was meant to be!"