Element Launch Service

On Wednesday night it began! I could not believe it was really happening. Four months of work finally coming together to create this youth ministry, Element Student Ministries. Now....let me tell you, what a week. On Monday I started to feel so sick, not the normal sick, but beyond aweful sick. On Tuesday, I went to the doctor and found out I had pneumonia. On Wednesday I have Elements launch service. Now as a youth pastor at a church plant, you just don't miss your launch service. Wednesday was exhausting. I kept losing my energy and prayed the whole time. I must admit that I thought that I was not going to make it. I must admit my faith was low...and I was tired.

Let me tell you how awesome the night was. I didn't know if any students would show up. We had 5 students show up. These students don't come to church. They are students that we have connected with by eating lunch at the middle school every week! I was so excited as Element began. By the end of the night I was curled up in the church nursery crying from exhuastion, but crying tears of joy because God had began something awesome tonight. I just know its gonna grow. I know Gods heart breaks for the lost students of Willard. I am excited to sacrifice to be a part of this ministry. Its gonna be worth it. Its gonna be worth it!

Now....pray I get better! I am still very weak and my lungs hurt! :(

Hiking Adventures with Josh and Denise!

Disclaimer: Soo...I thought I would finally post a fun post with pictures! I've been super busy and must admit I've not been the best blogger! :)

Sooo....I love hiking! Recently my I have found friends who are beginning to love hiking as well. Which let me tell you, these people are hard to come by in Missori! Anyways, the other day I took two of my friends with me. The girl...it was her first time! The other guy has already hiked a mountain...so it wasn't as exciting. But it was a lot of fun EXCEPT FOR ONE FACT: Missouri hiking is so different. (Spiders as big as gorillas and snakes tormented us!) My friend josh walked ahead swirling a stick in order to avoid cob webs with creapy spiders everywhere!

It was super fun! Above are some pics from the adventure! :)

NERVES

nerves....that is all I feel right now! I need this job....Lord provide! Please....deliver me from Crystal Suites! AMEN!

Youth Minstry Development....what?

With the launch service a week away for Element Student Ministries, I have found myself either excited out of my mind or feeling like this thing is entirely over my head! Last night I had my second leaders meeting! Can I just say God has blessed me with some great youth leaders! Already we are setting the pace and believing God for great things.

Planting a youth ministry was not taught to me in the classroom. I never heard the words, how to develop a youth ministry when there is none. I even googled it the other day and only found one link for resources on developing a youth ministry! This is an exciting place, WHY? Well, because we don't really know what we are doing. We are just following God and getting creative! Sometimes I laugh with my leaders because they look to me to be the expert! Well...lets have an honest moment. I have interned with three youth pastors, beeen a youth leader for 5 years, and graudated from college with a BA in youth ministries, but I still don't know everything. Far from it....with every planning meeting and every order of service I attempt to put together...I realize how much I admire my mentors and teachers. I admire my youth pastors and the youth pastors who mentored me!

Soo....as I sit here today...I begin to think of this awesome opportunity! God do great things!

I want the cross!

Lately I have felt it more than ever! At night I wake up and it is the first thing on my mind. During the day, I dream of it. I feel it growing bigger and bigger in my heart. I feel my heart breaking more and more. What I am feeling more than ever is my calling to be a youth pastor. It has always been there, but lately it is like God is reawakening in me the burden, the vision, the brokeness, the passion, and the emotion for young people in this generation.

I was in JRA's parking lot a few weeks ago. It had been a phenomenal youth service at Real Life. I was sitting in my car because in that moment God was reminding me of my calling. He was speaking to my heart that I was a youth pastor and he was going to use me in students lives in an even greater way than I have ever known to this point! I began to weep at the thought of being a spiritual mentor, a Pastor to students. It is such a great task....but the call for me to be this is so deep inside of me....I weep to think of being able to reach students!

The other day I was at work! A friend of mine sent me an email of a clip from an ATF event! It was at an ATF event that I first seriously gave my heart to God. I began to weep as I watched this clip. Ron Luce was preaching and at one point he cries out...."Who wants the cross more than all else. Who will take a stand in this generation and say that they want the cross more than all else." In the crowd this student cries out, "I want the cross." That is followed by others...and soon their are students filling the altars crying out among the crowd...I want the cross! I began to weep at work...because there it was again...that calling to preach to students!

I break for this generation. Nothing makes me cry easier than seeing students fall in love with Jesus. Nothing makes me cry harder than when one of my students walks away from God. I am a ruined person. Nothing else matters to me than reaching these students! I look out into this generation and I see millions of facing crying out for many things. I only wonder if they will ever get the chance to choose the cross! I only wonder if they will ever be told the truth...and given the opportunity to scream, "I want the cross."

I pray that I never get to the place where I don't break for students, where their faces don't propel me to do something and take risks in order to reach them!

My best friend!

So...I'm thinking I'm scared! Scared to lose my best friend. Ever feel like the world is tearing you farther and farther away from someone. You try to pretend like everything is okay...but deep down its not. You laugh and joke about it, but deep down you know the days of yesterday are over. You will never live those moments again. Sadness comes over me cause i know that I will not lose my best friend but that things now are different! I wish for those carefree days when we both just had hours to talk and dream about how God will use us! I miss a whole lot....but most of all I'm just missing the times of old spend with my best friend!

Wonder on my friend...wonder on!

Soooo.....I wonder today a whole lot! Ever have those days. Am I going to be able to make in financially? Where is this friendship going? Should I help out with this ministry position or go for this other opportunity? What do I need to do with my free time? How should I respond to the new situations God is placing me in?

Oh...there is so much to wonder about! Its a good thing that God word reminds me that I can make plans, but the Lord will determine my steps. This means that I no longer have to wonder and worry about things. God is in control! :) Soooo...I wonder what I am going to do with this new found knowledge! Oh....I will be quite thankful and wonder on today realizing my God is in control! :)