Today was one of those days that I feel exhausted. There are moments as a bi-vocational youth pastor that you find yourself exhausted. There are too many fires burning right now and I feel like I am being stretched beyond my ability to keep up.
It is nice to know that after a day like today I can run to the arms of my Savior. He reminds me that it is worth it.
GOD HELP ME TONIGHT! The idea of another 13 hour day tomorrow makes me even more exhausted!!!!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Heartsickness
I never really knew what it feels like to be heartsick. Lately, I have felt heartsick. Most people think of heartsick in terms of liking someone and not knowing how things are going to turn out. Granted we have all been there or some of us are there currently.
This heartsickness I am referring to tonight is a spiritual heartsickness. I find myself wanting so badly to see this generation reached with God's power that it is affecting my attitude, the things I say, how I spend my time, the music I fill my mind with, the actions I take, and even my appetite. There was this song when I was in high school that was popular. The lyrics said, "We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more of you, we are thirsty of Jesus, we are thirsty for more of you."
I have felt this cry in my heart lately. I am so sick of apathy. I despise halfway. I want to go all out for God. I want to be more passionate than any Billy Graham that has ever gone before me. I want to be so led of the Spirit that I hear his tiniest whisper leading me. Finally, I want to be so in tune with God, that he can break me for students in the way that I can reach them in a new God-inspired way.
Why would I want to reach students in a new God-inspired way. I am heartsick when I think of a God who desperately loves these kids, wants to have a relationship with them, wants to save them, change them, anoint them to reach their campuses and world, but don't have the opportunity. I am heartsick to know how to reach them-the one's who don't come to youth group. The ones who never will willingly come on their own to a youth group. I am heartsick for American teenagers so detached from the church and out of its normal reach.
My prayer is that God will make us all heartsick for this. My prayer is that out of this heartsickness God will inspire a new pattern of living. It is my prayer that God will inspire creativity and unrelenting Spirit in his people to not stop reaching out until there are no students left who have not heard, been given a chance and an opportunity at God in their life!
This heartsickness I am referring to tonight is a spiritual heartsickness. I find myself wanting so badly to see this generation reached with God's power that it is affecting my attitude, the things I say, how I spend my time, the music I fill my mind with, the actions I take, and even my appetite. There was this song when I was in high school that was popular. The lyrics said, "We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more of you, we are thirsty of Jesus, we are thirsty for more of you."
I have felt this cry in my heart lately. I am so sick of apathy. I despise halfway. I want to go all out for God. I want to be more passionate than any Billy Graham that has ever gone before me. I want to be so led of the Spirit that I hear his tiniest whisper leading me. Finally, I want to be so in tune with God, that he can break me for students in the way that I can reach them in a new God-inspired way.
Why would I want to reach students in a new God-inspired way. I am heartsick when I think of a God who desperately loves these kids, wants to have a relationship with them, wants to save them, change them, anoint them to reach their campuses and world, but don't have the opportunity. I am heartsick to know how to reach them-the one's who don't come to youth group. The ones who never will willingly come on their own to a youth group. I am heartsick for American teenagers so detached from the church and out of its normal reach.
My prayer is that God will make us all heartsick for this. My prayer is that out of this heartsickness God will inspire a new pattern of living. It is my prayer that God will inspire creativity and unrelenting Spirit in his people to not stop reaching out until there are no students left who have not heard, been given a chance and an opportunity at God in their life!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Daddy's Bear Hugs
I loved bear hugs growing up. Bear hugs were given to me by my Dad. He would come up to me and envelop me and squeeze me with love. Especially during hard times, I learned to appreciate my Dad's bear hugs. When he gave me that bear hug I would just know that everything was going to be okay. Daddy was there and he would take care of me.
Now that I am all grown up and away from home, I have learned that my heavenly Daddy gives great bear hugs too. He envelops me every day with his love. He wraps his arms around me during hard times and when I am safely in his arms I know everything will be okay because Daddy is here!
God thank you for being there for me always and thank you for a Dad who taught me just some of your amazing love!
Now that I am all grown up and away from home, I have learned that my heavenly Daddy gives great bear hugs too. He envelops me every day with his love. He wraps his arms around me during hard times and when I am safely in his arms I know everything will be okay because Daddy is here!
God thank you for being there for me always and thank you for a Dad who taught me just some of your amazing love!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
The Battle
The Battle is just beginning! I am not ready and feel like I have already been fighting for a long time!
YET I RESOLVE NOW TO FIGHT not in my own strength another day, BUT FIGHT BY THE POWER OF GOD! The battle is the Lords--he just needs to fight another day!
YET I RESOLVE NOW TO FIGHT not in my own strength another day, BUT FIGHT BY THE POWER OF GOD! The battle is the Lords--he just needs to fight another day!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
FIGHTING FOR THE LOVELESS!
TRUE love doesn't give up. It presses on even when things are crashing. Even when everything is taken away, it reaches to find the one. True love invests, true love reaches, true love pursues, true love sacrifices. True love won't let go of a hand. True love will grasp at everything until it finds what it is looking for. TRUE LOVE IS OF GOD!
GOD's LOVE calls us into a world that is beat up, cut down, broken down, forgotten, crushed, unwanted, un-healed, troubled, hurting, lost, and beacons us to fight for them. I see their faces. Most days their faces haunt me. They don't have a father or mother, no one loves them, they cut themselves, they starve themselves, they talk about how unlovely they are, they talk about how abused they are, they talk about how they are told they are nothing, they try drugs, they are haunted by the images they look at, they have no self resect, they look for love in all the wrong places....AND YET MOST PEOPLE DON'T TAKE TIMET TO NOTICE A GENERATION UNLOVED!
I fight for a generation that is haunted by feeling LOVELESS. A fight for a generation that has never been hugged. I fight for a generation that has never been told that they are proud of them. I fight for a generation that has never been told they are lovely. I fight for a generation that has never been told about a love--a love that is not like any other love. A love that never abandons, never leaves, never judges, never beats, never cuts down with words, BUT A LOVE THAT HEALS....A LOVE THAT RESTORE....THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST!
Call me a sentimental youth pastor...but I am fighting to LOVE MY STUDENTS with the LOVE OF GOD that will save them, restore them, and enable them to do great things with their lives for GOD!
GOD's LOVE calls us into a world that is beat up, cut down, broken down, forgotten, crushed, unwanted, un-healed, troubled, hurting, lost, and beacons us to fight for them. I see their faces. Most days their faces haunt me. They don't have a father or mother, no one loves them, they cut themselves, they starve themselves, they talk about how unlovely they are, they talk about how abused they are, they talk about how they are told they are nothing, they try drugs, they are haunted by the images they look at, they have no self resect, they look for love in all the wrong places....AND YET MOST PEOPLE DON'T TAKE TIMET TO NOTICE A GENERATION UNLOVED!
I fight for a generation that is haunted by feeling LOVELESS. A fight for a generation that has never been hugged. I fight for a generation that has never been told that they are proud of them. I fight for a generation that has never been told they are lovely. I fight for a generation that has never been told about a love--a love that is not like any other love. A love that never abandons, never leaves, never judges, never beats, never cuts down with words, BUT A LOVE THAT HEALS....A LOVE THAT RESTORE....THE LOVE OF JESUS CHRIST!
Call me a sentimental youth pastor...but I am fighting to LOVE MY STUDENTS with the LOVE OF GOD that will save them, restore them, and enable them to do great things with their lives for GOD!
All because of LOVE!
I am in love with God. I love him so much. This love for God has led me to do crazy, somewhat strange, untraditional, and seemingly impossible things with my life. I step back from it all--and can't help but still feel propelled to do so much more for God!
Out of my love for GOD...I love students! They make up my purpose for life. I am called to be a youth pastor. I love my kids. One thing that I know is that I can't reach them with my own love, but only through the love of God in my heart!
Lately, I have felt this crushing reality that I need God more than ever. I have been in a struggle. I know my calling, know my mission field, but the enemy is out to devour the dream, the passion, the mission. He tries to block perspective. He tries to tear down motivation. He tries to beat down the spirit inside this woman. But one thing he cannot steal is the LOVE of GOD in my heart! God's LOVE sings over me, revives me, gives me passion, shows the mission yet again, calls me, propels me forward, and causes me to fight for my students!
I will not give up on Willard, the students, their families! The love of God propels me tonight to love them....reach them....pray them into the KINGDOM OF GOD!
Out of my love for GOD...I love students! They make up my purpose for life. I am called to be a youth pastor. I love my kids. One thing that I know is that I can't reach them with my own love, but only through the love of God in my heart!
Lately, I have felt this crushing reality that I need God more than ever. I have been in a struggle. I know my calling, know my mission field, but the enemy is out to devour the dream, the passion, the mission. He tries to block perspective. He tries to tear down motivation. He tries to beat down the spirit inside this woman. But one thing he cannot steal is the LOVE of GOD in my heart! God's LOVE sings over me, revives me, gives me passion, shows the mission yet again, calls me, propels me forward, and causes me to fight for my students!
I will not give up on Willard, the students, their families! The love of God propels me tonight to love them....reach them....pray them into the KINGDOM OF GOD!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
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