Heartsickness

I never really knew what it feels like to be heartsick. Lately, I have felt heartsick. Most people think of heartsick in terms of liking someone and not knowing how things are going to turn out. Granted we have all been there or some of us are there currently.

This heartsickness I am referring to tonight is a spiritual heartsickness. I find myself wanting so badly to see this generation reached with God's power that it is affecting my attitude, the things I say, how I spend my time, the music I fill my mind with, the actions I take, and even my appetite. There was this song when I was in high school that was popular. The lyrics said, "We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more of you, we are thirsty of Jesus, we are thirsty for more of you."

I have felt this cry in my heart lately. I am so sick of apathy. I despise halfway. I want to go all out for God. I want to be more passionate than any Billy Graham that has ever gone before me. I want to be so led of the Spirit that I hear his tiniest whisper leading me. Finally, I want to be so in tune with God, that he can break me for students in the way that I can reach them in a new God-inspired way.

Why would I want to reach students in a new God-inspired way. I am heartsick when I think of a God who desperately loves these kids, wants to have a relationship with them, wants to save them, change them, anoint them to reach their campuses and world, but don't have the opportunity. I am heartsick to know how to reach them-the one's who don't come to youth group. The ones who never will willingly come on their own to a youth group. I am heartsick for American teenagers so detached from the church and out of its normal reach.

My prayer is that God will make us all heartsick for this. My prayer is that out of this heartsickness God will inspire a new pattern of living. It is my prayer that God will inspire creativity and unrelenting Spirit in his people to not stop reaching out until there are no students left who have not heard, been given a chance and an opportunity at God in their life!