Letting GO!

Tonight I feel....sad to let go!

The sadness of a goodbye

Tonight I said goodbye to two of my most faithful leaders since the beginning of Element. It was probably one of the hardest things to do to let them go. I know they are going to go and do great things. They will find new students, new people to love and their lives will never be the same. However, it does not make saying good-bye any easier.

So tonight I have decided that I am not a fan of GOODBYES--!

I am sad tonight but deep down I rejoice that God gave me them for the time he did! Thank you Lord for that gift!

THE SOME

1 Cor. 9:19-23

If but for some--even if its just for a few! This is why I serve, lose sleep, give myself completely to work God has placed in my hands to do. It is for the few!

Sometimes we get caught up in numbers. We say, "Lord I'll do anything for you, but just make sure that my youth group is running this number a year from now."

However, would we still be willing, if a year from now after much sacrifice and serving our youth group actually was running less?

What if you served in the same place 4/5 years and only saw a few students completely saved and changed....would it be worth it to you?

Paul gives us an intense challenge. He says that he does everything he can that he might save SOME! Notice, he does not put hundred, thousands, millions. Allthough, I am quite certain that it was Paul's aim to reach as many as possible, his focus was not numbers. Instead, he was focused on what mattered! Doing all he could to reach those that God placed in his life at that moment.

So do you live in the now trying to do all that you can to reach the SOME God has placed in your life and ministry. Maybe some people aren't quite your type. Maybe "GASP" they don't love Jesus yet and we love them to a relationship with Jesus. However, I would love to see us begin to rise up as a generation and do everything we can to reach this generation no matter how different they may be from us. Lord, give us the heart of Paul to go after them--no excuses--and do what it takes to reach them!

Think about it tonight--How does God want to use you in this generation to reach the SOME that you can whether you are a Pastor or not?????

Be encouraged that God has placed the some in your life and now it's our time to love them and reach them by the Lord's help in our lives!

What I Don't Understand!

There are a lot of things I don't understand. Most of these things, I just shove off the table to clear for the tasks of the day that I can understand and solve. However, these things that I don't understand seem to find their way back into my path again and leave me with my mouth gapping. I guess these are the things that make for a strong prayer life. You have to pray through what you do not understand. And after a good prayer--you can move beyond the pile of the un-understood on the floor.

Which brings me to something that I have never quite understood. Why is strength in a woman often looked down upon? The reason why I struggle so much with this is because I was raised in a family where my Mom and Dad instilled strength in me. There goal was for me to make it, and not just make it, but be able to thrive. The greatest thing my Dad ever said was "April don't ever change who you are. Always live for what you are called to. Always honor God. You honor God when you live out the life he's called you to live." I've lived this out. I find my strength in God and living out his calling for my life!

What I don't understand is why that places me in a whole different category as a woman?

I guess I won't ever understand, but honestly it's one of those things I don't have to worry about. Like all the other things I don't understand--I will shove it off the table and embrace the strength God has given me for another day of bi-vocational church planting youth ministry!!!!

Moving Forward

Moving forward requires sometimes leaving behind what you love, invested years in, and placed your heart into. However, there are times when moving forward is an absolute necessity. If you are going to go where God wants to take you, be the person he wants you to become, and meet the people he desires to place you into their lives, you have to leave behind what you once loved.

The hard part is that after all the investment and time, it can be the hardest thing to walk away. Everything inside you wants to make it work, but you finally realize that those best wishes will never come true. And so you pick yourself up and walk away. You make the break--as uneven as it might be knowing that in the end you have made the best decision of your life. The hardest part is realizing what you have to do and then doing it. The freedom comes in doing it!!! God is good like that because when you follow him in obedience he backs you up with his strength and encouragement.

I find myself in this moment right now where I need to move forward, but everything inside me wants to hold onto the past--hold onto what has already been done, what has already been said, the moments that have already been lived. However, those things no longer matter--the thing that matters most is that I move forward to what the Lord has for me today!

God help me!!!!!!

HIS LOVE

There is nothing like your Grandpa dying to draw you to some new perspectives....to draw you to a new place...to draw you back to where you have come from. This week has been tough. I have shed more tears, been more vulnerable, then I have allowed myself to be in years. The truth is my heart is shouting this week--I AM NOT ALLRIGHT! However, we get through life. No matter how hard it is, no matter how hard we mourn, no matter how many tears are shed, the week continues on.

This week I lost my Grandpa and I let go of a love that I was not entitled to. It was tough. When things leave--when you have to let go all at the same time--IT HURTS. I am hurting today, but in the midst of it all, God's love is so huge. It envelops my heart in the midst of mourning and letting go. God reminds me its okay to not be allright....its okay to mourn and its okay to be broken.

Thank you God for your love at this very moment.

What to do....?

In life there are moments when you wish that you could get a direct yes or no answer. However, there are moments that are more complicated. In fact, more is at stake. The entire direction and course of your life will be changed by one decision. These are not easy moments. In fact, these are the moments that draw me to the Word and make me ask, "God what do you want me to do?"
Sometimes I expect a flash of lightening, a thundering voice from the sky telling me what to do. However, that is not often the answer I get. Often the answer I get is the peace that comes when I walk in the right direction. When I am headed the wrong way I have to walk past several warning signs and pretty much ignore God.

So this brings me to the place I am at this very second. I could easily force something. I could easily avoid. I could easily choose the easy choice. I could easily just BE!

Or I could open myself up to God and allow him to speak....allow him to direct my steps......