My Christmas Blessing

So...this Christmas is a little different than most! This Christmas I now have this incredible man in my life! I like to say that he is my Christmas blessing that adds just a little EXTRA awesomeness to Christmas.

And I love the fact that Christmas is here. The Christmas carols and the lights and the shopping! But having an amazing man in my life now is a HUGE BLESSING!

So just wanted to say...I am excited for Christmas and thankful for my Extra Christmas blessing this year!!! :)

Tagged

I was sitting in a coffee shop the other night and this thought occurred to me! I would like to share it.



We love to tag people. We do this in status updates on facebook, tag people in photoes & notes, etc. But it moves beyond this, we also place tags in normal day life. I don't know if we realize we are even doing it. But we so easily tag people. We say, "Oh that is "THAT GUY" or that is "HER!" And these tags influence others. The tags we place on people limit our perception of them. And then it moves beyond that and begins to influence other people's perception of them. In essence, the tags we PLACE ON OTHERS ARE POWERFUL!!! And we need to be careful with them.



However, it goes beyond that. We need to watch tagging. The reason: The tags we place on people limit our potential to reach them. They hinder God using us to reach that person. Why? The reason is because we don't try to reach them because we have a tagged perception of them. And that tagged perception closes us off towards them without us consciously trying.



God does not have tags on us. He loves us all equally. And if we to follow in his steps and example, then we need to stop tagging others. We need to stop saying, "OH THOSE GUYS." Because the minute you say that, in your mind you are saying, "They are not worth loving, pursuing and reaching!"



And this is the tragedy of us as Christians. We tag to much. I have done it and you have probably done it. And I am praying that God will break this in us! I am praying that we will stop TAGGING OTHERS!!!!



Just some food for thought for tonight.....

The Student on the Street

I saw him today. He was the kid on the street corner. He had a huge shirt that was hanging down below his knees. He had the chains. He looked rough. He reminded me of the students that Jesus died for. However, a lot of times, we as Christians look at that kid and just talk about him. A conversation like this evolves. “Look at that kid. I bet he is up to no good. I wonder what gang he’s in. Quick, hurry drive away before he sees us.” I have to wonder if we would talk that way if Jesus were the one dressed like that street kid on the side of the road. I wonder what we would say if Jesus stopped us and looked us in the face reminding us, “I died for that student.” It’s a problem that we are so quick to offer judgment, but unwilling to provide an opportunity for change.

That student that you are judging and driving quickly away from, He needs hope. He is the product of the life that he has grown up in. Most of the time, the church has never been an option for him. A pastor never tried to get him to come to his/her youth group. People certainly didn’t invite him to their church. In fact, the kid’s only exposure to Jesus is as a cuss word. And he certainly has never owned a Bible. And without support, why would he read it even if he owned it.
So I was sitting there staring at this kid on street corning thinking this. Before we judge him we should probably look at ourselves. Now I understand that not everyone is called to reach at-risk students. However, we are all called to love like Jesus loved everyone when he died on the cross for the sins of everyone. Before we say that a kid like that is, “Dangerous and a lost cause,” we should ask ourselves if we have done anything to reach out to that student. You may not be a youth leader to him, but you could support those who desire to me. You could invite him to church. You could invest your church that is trying to reach them, or start a program that will reach out to them. You can offer him love, genuine love.

All I know is there is a lot of judgment and not a lot of love sometimes. I am not saying that I am perfect and don’t point the finger right at myself as I write this. We need each other, the street kids need you and you need the street kid. The body of Christ working together to reach our communities is a powerful force.

Decision Time!

It's decision time! I feel like I can hear the buzzer all over again. You are down to the last few seconds of the game. You can feel your pulse beating in your chest, the crowd cheering, and the ball in your hands. You were born for this moment. Will you pass the ball or take the shot. And you may think that this is an easy decision. However, its not. You go for the shot and miss it, you will be held responsible for it. You pass the ball, they have a better chance of making the shot, but if they miss, you passed up your chance to win the game.

And in a great sense that is where I find myself right now. I have two great opportunities before me. I hear the buzzer and its decision time. I want to do both, but I will have to choose one. I am praying and seeking God. And I feel like he is waiting until the last seconds to share his plan.

I am ready for either option. I am ready to jump back into ministry! Its time for me to and minister to students! :) And either way its gonna require sacrifice and risk.

So decision time has come. Pray with me that God will help me to make the right choice!

Faith steps

"Many of us are living a false narrative that is based on experience rather than faith. Faith turns the page & trusts the author." Doug Reed

I read this quote tonight. I am very rational at times. I only want to attempt to do what I know I can do or have experienced. However, when it comes to calling and life, God sometimes demands that we rely on faith. Faith will attempt something impossible. Faith does not know the end in advance. Faith trust that God knows what he is doing.

And to be honest...this challenges me at this very moment! It demands that I take some faith steps in my own life.

What faith steps are you needing to take towards what God is wanting you to do?

A moment out of my league!

There have been several moments in my life that I do not know what to do, where to go, or how to respond. Right now, I am living this moment. This moment is challenging my faith. It is asking me, "Do you have enough faith to believe that God really will take you to the right place. The place that He is calling you?"

All I know is that I am ready to reach students! I am ready to pour my life into teenagers! This is my goal and aim!

Tomorrow I fly out to Montana to look into a ministry opportunity there. Its an adventure. Its weird to think about life change. I, also, this week was given an opportunity locally to youth pastor to at risk teenagers. Which one should I choose? I wish the answers were easy! :)

However, in the midst of this huge process, I know one thing! I know that in this moment God has not changed. In this moment, God knows exactly where I need to go! He knows exactly what needs to be done! In this moment, God is very present! God will lead me!

And in this moment when I feel out of my league! God is right here in the middle of his league!

SIMPLE & BLUNT...THE WAY GOD can SPEAK!

God can sometimes speak to us in simple and blunt ways! Right now, I am in a place of transition in my life. I don't necessarily know what the 'next step' is. I have thought more than I ever thought possible. I wore my brain out trying to figure out possibilities and got overwhelmed by what seemed to be impossibilities. I have felt afraid and scared to move forward. I have felt trapped where I am at. My heart is with students and teenagers. And somehow I have been forgetting that God gave me that desire and he can open up the right door to minister to them.



Last week I was sitting in my cube at work feeling remorse and regret for not even attempting to take a risk. And this is the moment that God spoke to me in a simple and blunt way through a friend. My friend came up to me and I was asking, "Would you not do something based on__________ (insert my latest fear)! My friend looked at me and simply and bluntly spoke these words. "April look around you." So I did! All I around me I saw what he was seeing. In my cube I surround myself with quotes on faith and God doing the impossible and never giving up. I am one of those people who is crazy enough to believe that God can work miracles and God can do something when there seems to be nothing. I have lived this reality. I looked up and said to my friend. "Yeah I see it!" He then said the words that God has used in my life this past week. Simple and blunt, but true words! "April you surround yourself with quotes on faith, but do you apply it. You preached to your students and taught us as leaders to always attempt great things. Why would you stop now."



I left that conversation reminded of a powerful lesson. Don't let doubt creep in and stop you from the amazing things God has for you to accomplish. How lame to wake up five years from now and realize that you didn't take the risk, accept the challenge, or even attempt. Look, right now, I have no idea what is going to happen, how it will happen, or how I will afford it all. YET GOD DOES...AND HE IS NEVER CAUGHT BY SURPRISE!



I just know that its time for me to apply FAITH! To you my wonderful friends...pray with me along this journey right now that God will give me faith that I have never had before. And I pray for you as well, that the Lord will give you faith as well right now to do everything he has for you!

A poem on Awaiting my LOVE!

My Love Awaits You

Right now its almost Valentines Day yet again. Around me is a swirl of hearts: red, pink and white. Red roses and chocolates are on demand. Couples swarm the restaurants. And in the midst of all the swirl...yet again I still wait.

I don't know where you are at tonight. I wonder about you sometimes. I wonder when we will meet. I wonder what our lives will look like when we come together. I know that we will do extraordinary things for GOD.

And so tonight I stare out again at all the loving couples and wait for you. I wait for you because I know that your love will be true and its worth the wait. I save my kisses and my love deep inside.

I am ready now to meet you. I wish it were tonight. But for now I have to be content to wait for you. Valentines Day will soon be over and life will continue to move forwards. My status on facebook will not change.

However, one things remains! I await you. I await a true love that we will share. I cannot wait till that day!

And so tonight I am hopeful because I dream of you. I dream of the man you are becoming. A man fully in love with God and dedicated to his cause. A man worth waiting for and following and spending my life with forever!

So tonight I await your love...I await the day when I can call you mine!

Am I missing OUT?

I went for a run this morning. I was surrounded on the run by families and couples living life. Some families consisted of a husband, wife, and dog. Others there was a husband and wife and a kid or several kids. Tonight at Olive Garden, I look around at families, couples, and groups of friends. In my heart lately, it longs for that. Now, I have an incredible family, but I am getting to that age where all my friends are already married, some even having kids, or are getting married. And this thought flew in my face, am I missing out? Is life passing by? Will I end up alone some day?

When these thoughts come, and lets me be honest they do, I have to regain perspective. I begin to look at my life. Just last night, I was at Incredible Pizza with my students, a group of INCREDIBLE students. They are my family right now. I don't have a husband, dog, or kids, but I do have my students. I love to put my whole life, love, and focus into them right now.

And then I look at my friends. I am surrounded with such a great group of people who are striving to help me through. These friends, many of them, have become like family. They have been there through the thick and thin for me. They have served right along side me, lifted my hands when they were too tired, and just been there to encourage me.

And when I look at the whole picture, I AM NOT MISSING OUT! Why? Because I am investing in the people in my life and following God's calling to be a youth pastor. Is life Passing me by? Absolutely, but I am living every second of it. Life moves quickly and I will move quickly with it and live every day to its fullest. Finally, will I end up alone some day? I don't think so. I know that God wants what is best for him, and if I will serve him in the way he has called he will not let me down. I just have to continue to be patient. I know that down the road there is a wonderful man who will be my husband, and we will have a family together. I can't wait!

But here's the deal. TODAY IS RIGHT NOW! There is so much to be discovered today. There is so much to be done.

And I want to LIVE MY LIFE TODAY and LOVE IT!

So to all my single friends out there...don't get discouraged! Hang in there and live the life God has called you to live today, and trust God to lead your life!

Love ya,

Pastor April

It's okay to be not be OKAY

There are things we don't talk about. Things we don't share. But tonight lets have an honesty moment...

There are times when you have to come face to face with reality. These times can be so hard. I usually cry. Especially when these moments involve letting go of things/places/people/memories that you love. Its like your heart gets ripped out and a portion of it is left behind. You want so badly to reach out and keep it, but you can't get past it until you let go and walk away. What you are grabbing for is no longer yours to have. Whether its a career change, financial set-back, a relationship, friendship, sickness, or the loss of a loved one to name a few.

I try to always pull off being the tough girl. However, sometimes I just gotta let it out. I am not strong alone-only by God's providing hand do I get through. And I have to come to grips with the fact that its okay to have a breakdown. Its okay to not have all the answers. Its okay to admit to emotions, pain, lack of control, and fear. Its okay to stand in this moment and watch everything around me fade. And in this moment as I collapse to the ground and as I come face to face with realization, I pray that God will give me the strength I need to keep breathing, fighting, believing, loving, and pursuing. AND I KNOW THAT HE WILL!

Why would I write such an emotional note right now? The reason is, in talking to a lot of you lately, lovely friends of mine, you are going through some of the same things-the TOUGH STUFF. Its hard to watch you try to stand there trying to be courageous when I see that inside you are breaking. Remember tonight, that is okay to admit weakness! Its okay to admit that you are not okay! Why? Because tonight God is there and HE CARES. And the Bible says this, that God's strength is perfected in your weakness!

So its okay to not be okay. Let God come tonight and help you through! May he comfort you like he has lately!

NOT A FUN QUOTE

Hardest think my Mom ever taught me. "If you love someone you will let them go and if they come back to you it was meant to be!"

When you get too Tired...that is when you Keep Going!!!

When you are too Tired...that is when you Keep Going!

I had just got off work @ 3:30pm. I had already been up since 5am. I was hoping to go home and take a nap for an hour before going into the all night New's Year Eve Youth Event with a neighboring church. Of course, the minute my head hit the pillow, the calls started and never stopped. An hour later I got up as exhausted as I started. I survived the evening drinking 5 hour energy shots one after another. I know...terrible for your heart, but its the only thing I knew how to get through it. I even considered drinking coffee. (GAG) Thirty six hours of being awake later, I was sitting in the parking lot of the church waiting for a parent to come pick up their kids. Fantastic of course they were an hour late! I remember thinking...I am going to run this van off the road on the way home. My friend followed me to return the borrowed van from a neighboring church. When I finally got home, I fell into bed exhausted.

This is a typical story in my life as a bi-vocational minister. Everyone says, when you get exhausted that is when you need to take a break and rest. However, there are seasons in ministry when you will not be able to do this. In this moments when you are too tired that truly is when you have to keep going! You have to grip your teeth and just tell yourself that you can make it that next hour or that next day or that next week. I think sometimes the minute things get hard we want to throw in the towel.

However, for every one of those sleepless times of church work, I can say its was WORTH IT! Yes, it was worth it!!!! So remember when you get TOO tired, keep going because God will give you the strength that you need. I have a theory that God gives special strength to bi-vocational and volunteer and full time ministers!!!! He's got us...and just because we are tired its not a good excuse to give up!!! PRESS ON!!!

When Everyone's NO is Answered by GOD's YES!

"When everyone's No is Answered by God's YES."

I was sitting in a Starbucks with Derek Henson. I was talking about wanting to start a youth ministry. He was staring at the paper with all the philosophies and ideas. You could see it on the tip of his tongue, "But April you don't have any students in our church." I remember telling my Pastor I wanted to start a youth ministry. I remember his answer, "April church plants don't have a youth ministry until they have at least been established 6 months. However, if you really feel like God is telling you to do this, then do it." I remember sitting with my first leadership team talking to them about Element and I heard their concerns, "But April what if no students come." I remember sitting in the school cafeteria for the first time thinking, "Why am I hear. This was a bad idea." I remember the conversations. "Hi..my name is April. I am a youth pastor in town. Um...we haven't had our first service, so we don't have any students yet, but you should come in October. We will have free pizza." I remember the first youth group. The fliers had been sent out, and a few students showed. Element Student Ministries was off and running.

Everyone told me that starting a youth ministry at the same time our church was starting was a bad idea. I will admit I wanted to side with them. I wanted to just take a seat on the back row and wait for the perfect time. However, God had a different plan. He had placed urgency in my heart and the more people said no--the more God said YES! So I did the unthinkable. I began to plan. Having no students in sight, but the middle school and high school within reaching distance. I had an insane vision, a dream with the supportive backing of only God HIMSELF.

There are times in ministry when you may hear everyone saying NO and know that God is saying YES. This may put you in a place between a rock and a hard place. The people that mean the most to you, may tell you that you have lost your mind. Your most endearing friends may walk away from you because they consider you to have gone crazy. However, if it is GOD saying YES...then do it! Why? Because you know if God has said yes, then he is backing you up. And when God is backing you up, I am not saying that ministry will be easy, but I am saying that you will be able to make it. You will watch God do through you what few have every been able to accomplish!

JUST RELAX

"Just RELAX!" I was sitting in church this weekend. Pastor Jonathan was winding down with his sermon and God kept whispering to my heart to respond to him. As soon as response time started I was on my knees telling God how much I needed him. It was not long until the tears began to spill down my face and I just poured my heart out to God. I told him everything that I was feeling lately, my hurts, fears, rejections, scares, questions, concerns, dreams, and anxious thoughts. I spilled it all out! I felt God's presence wash over me and him gently placed his arm on my shoulder whispering to me, "Just RELAX...trust that I have got ya!" In that moment all my trust issues dissolved, I let go, and trusted God. In that moment all the burdens I had been carrying fell of and I had this "AWE" moment where I felt FREE!



I think some days the words "Just RELAX" are not in my vocabulary. I am a workaholic. I find most signifigance in getting lots done. So that already was a tough pill too swallow. Pastor April....just APRIL at the core of myself....RELAX? It was a crazy thought!



Then God threw out the trust word! TRUST....TRUST GOD! Like Pastor Jonathan was saying, "Why do we fight trusting God. We act like if we trust him he will mess everything up." That is me a lot of times. I feel like if I trust God, he will run off like the next guy or he will hurt me or he will mess things up! However, I realized that God is the one who created TRUST! Why do I not trust HIM! I relized that RELAXATION and TRUSTING GOD....go hand in hand.



You cannot RELAX on a daily basis until you are fully TRUSTING that God is in control of your life!



I know that maybe you have already had all of this figured out, but for me this hit me in the face this weekend and I thought I would share!



So if you need to "JUST RELAX" (Even if you are a workaholic like me) then its time to FULLY TRUST GOD! When you fully trust God you can have that "AWE" moment when the weight of the burdens fall off your back and you know that God's got ya!



Lets TRUST HIM and JUST RELAX this week!

Laughter

Laughter! A chuckle, the belly laugh, the dainty laugh, the busting at the seams laugh, the snort laugh, the hyena laugh, the quiet laugh, the tempered laugh, and the hearty laugh. I LOVE LAUGHTER! Is there a like button for this on facebook? Sign up me on the Laugher Member Page. I AM A FAN OF LAUGHTER!!!! For those of you who know me, you know this to be a fact!!!

Laughter is good medicine. It brings healing to the soul. When you choose to laugh, you choose the joy that God intended for your life. God even says that the joy of the Lord is your strength, which makes me wonder why so many Christians go around frowning all the time! WHY? You have an amazing God who not only created you but things that you are absolutely amazing. He created laughter and joy. He created your face to smile!

And I know that sometimes we feel like life just stinks. Take for instance my morning yesterday. I stubbed my finger, five minutes later stubbed my toe, and then I spilled my Dr. Pepper. By the time I spilled my Dr. Pepper I was ticked. Inside—my temper was yelling—THIS DAY IS GONNA STINK. And then I stopped to think about it. My finger and toe still throbbing and Dr. Pepper all over me equals a hilarious picture! I had to laugh!!!!

And I know you aren’t always going to laugh. I am not trying to make light of the really tough stuff that you will face in life. Not everything is a laughing matter, but I think you are in serious trouble if laughter has ceased from your life!
SO LAUGH ON MY FRIEND…..LAUGH ON!!!!

Block Party

Today was an amazing day. I got to serve beside some of the most amazing people. My youth leaders continue to astound with the love that they serve me with. I am so lucky to have each and every one of them. And my students were rolling up their sleeves as well loving on the people on the block and serving!

In case you are wondering what I am rambling about, we had a block party today in Willard on Willow Lane. This block has stole my heart. On it live real families, real people, just living life. We don't know all their stories and we have not lived their lives, but they certainly deserve love.

I got to meet the most amazing people on the block today. It was incredible to learn their names, hear their stories, talk through experiences, play games with them. And lets not forget I beat 5 guys and 1 girl in a watermelon eating contest!

My point is that this is MINISTRY. Ministry goes where the people are. It does not expect them to come to us.

I wonder about it sometimes...what would if I never went beyond the church walls how many people I would have missed!

I challenge each of you that read this to step out, meet some people outside the church, get to know their names, and ultimately help them see the love of God through your life!

Distance

I miss you! Why does distance seem to tear at the heart of a woman some days!

Christ's Love Demonstated to the People Around YOU!

Sometimes I struggle with something. If I am to be honest tonight, I struggle to let people in. I feel like when you really let someone in they are going to see what you are and ultimately push you away. So I think that sometimes its better to keep people at arms length. However, as God breaks down my heart, I cannot help but let people in and deeply love them. However, when you deeply love people it hurts so much more when they let you down.


This I think is the hardest part of being a youth pastor. You love your kids so much. You do everything you can to believe in them. You love them with everything inside and then at times they completely push you out.


This is the hardest part of life is letting someone in close and have them hurt you or push you away. I know that most time in life these things are not intentional, but sometimes they are. That is the risk in loving deeply. However, I have come to a conclusion. I would rather love deeply than not love at all or just love casually. I want to truly, deeply love the people in my life--especially my students. I want them to know that even when they let me down, hurt me, I am going nowhere! I also look forward to when God gives me the man he has for me unconditionally love him, despite everything.


When I want to be selfish and push people away, I am reminded of a love-Christ's love that bore my sins on a cross! He gave me everything so that I could have eternal life. How much more should I give him?


So....today I am embracing the people God has placed in my life, pushing past my fears, and choosing to love them!


This is Christ's love demonstrated in me! I could not do this in my own power!


So how about you today--are there some people that God wants you to let in and truly love them. Its worth it! It's worth the risk--allow God to use you to truly love people today. Push past your fears! Choose to LOVE!

Exausting Day

Today was one of those days that I feel exhausted. There are moments as a bi-vocational youth pastor that you find yourself exhausted. There are too many fires burning right now and I feel like I am being stretched beyond my ability to keep up.

It is nice to know that after a day like today I can run to the arms of my Savior. He reminds me that it is worth it.

GOD HELP ME TONIGHT! The idea of another 13 hour day tomorrow makes me even more exhausted!!!!

Heartsickness

I never really knew what it feels like to be heartsick. Lately, I have felt heartsick. Most people think of heartsick in terms of liking someone and not knowing how things are going to turn out. Granted we have all been there or some of us are there currently.

This heartsickness I am referring to tonight is a spiritual heartsickness. I find myself wanting so badly to see this generation reached with God's power that it is affecting my attitude, the things I say, how I spend my time, the music I fill my mind with, the actions I take, and even my appetite. There was this song when I was in high school that was popular. The lyrics said, "We are hungry, we are hungry, we are hungry for more of you, we are thirsty of Jesus, we are thirsty for more of you."

I have felt this cry in my heart lately. I am so sick of apathy. I despise halfway. I want to go all out for God. I want to be more passionate than any Billy Graham that has ever gone before me. I want to be so led of the Spirit that I hear his tiniest whisper leading me. Finally, I want to be so in tune with God, that he can break me for students in the way that I can reach them in a new God-inspired way.

Why would I want to reach students in a new God-inspired way. I am heartsick when I think of a God who desperately loves these kids, wants to have a relationship with them, wants to save them, change them, anoint them to reach their campuses and world, but don't have the opportunity. I am heartsick to know how to reach them-the one's who don't come to youth group. The ones who never will willingly come on their own to a youth group. I am heartsick for American teenagers so detached from the church and out of its normal reach.

My prayer is that God will make us all heartsick for this. My prayer is that out of this heartsickness God will inspire a new pattern of living. It is my prayer that God will inspire creativity and unrelenting Spirit in his people to not stop reaching out until there are no students left who have not heard, been given a chance and an opportunity at God in their life!