Sometimes I think of my life and what kind of dialogue one would write about it. I wonder if one would laugh, cry, sing, smile, or hurt when they read about my life. At times, I feel like my life is a hilarious dialogue, at others times I feel like it is an insane dichotomy. I just wonder....
There are times when I feel like picking up a pen and beginning to write about all that is happening. So tonight I will begin to dialogue about life....
Lately, God has been talking to me about surrender and sacrifice. I am realizing that only in losing everything sometimes can extraordinary worship happen, extraoridinary miracles, extraordinary acts of service...etc! About a month ago, God asked me what had happened to my extraordinary love for him and my extraordinary dreams of what He wanted to do in my life. I had to open up my eyes to the true fact that somewhere along the line...I had gotten caught up in doing and being....and not becoming who God wanted me to be! It was shocking...
You see over this past year, I developed amazing friendships and bonds with people. I graduated CBC. I got my first job in the secular workplace. I got over 85 rejections from churches. I received two invitations to serve at churches that were not Gods will. I turned those churches down. I got called to Willard and church planting. I, by Gods help, developed a youth ministry. I struggled financially like I have never known before. I was unable to pay my bills at times. I was laid off. God provided a new job. I dealt with relationship issues. I found myself feeling lonely. I found myself having to live life ALONE!
Yet...in the midst of everything...I learned so much! I learned sacrificing everything for the call. I learned letting go and trusting God. I learned that if you love something you will give it to God and if he gives it back to you it was meant to be. I learned to lead my heart and not always follow it. I learned I was selfish. I learned I did not know it all...and outside of miracles from GOd...most of the time I would not make it!
SO I was not surprised this week when the Lord asked me for everything. I have been giving him most of myself--85% or more. But with startling clarity God asked me for all of myself. He asked me to return to him as my one and TRUE LOVE! So....if you see me retreating into the arms of Jesus...don't judge me! Help me to become a woman who gives God 100%. I really believe this!
"The World has yet to see what woman fully devoted to God can accomplish!"
No comments:
Post a Comment