Frustrating conversations

SO tonight I had this conversation. I said a lot of things that came from the heart. The other person I was talking to towards the end of this conversation said that everything was surface! SURFACE....it was so frustrating. Have you ever been in a conversation when you have said so much....BUT not what you really were wanting to say. That was tonight for me. I feel the agonizing pain now inside of know that I did not say what needed to be said tonight and wondering when I will finally muster the courage to say what I need to....ugh sometimes its hard to be honest!

Spoons and Duct Tape!

Who would think that a little duck tape and spoons could bring so much fun in youth ministry! WOW...what a night last night! We had this incredible bonding moment as a group when we played the shower cap duck tape spoon game! I have never had so much fun watching my students and leaders rolling on the floor trying to get spoons stuck to their heads! It was one of those great moments when you are like, This is why I'm a youth pastor! :)

Ugh....

Ugh...today is one of those days where I feel like I'm losing control! I feel like I am losing more than just money out of my wallet to more and more bills...but I feel like I'm losing one of my best friendships. This hurts...because it seems that every day that passes the less communication that happens, the one less phone call, the one less shared story. And I know...I should just blame it on busyness, but I know there is more to it than that. When I finally do try to extend myself to fix what is being torn apart phone calls go unaswered and texts seem to fall into the ozone and never returned. I hate this feeling...I hate that the one person who means the world to me has become so distant. I hate that we don't laugh on the phone for hours anymore. I hate the fact we don't hang out. I hate the fact that when we do talk it seems to be another argument. ugh...I hate what is happening today and I just don't know what to do!

Element Launch Service

On Wednesday night it began! I could not believe it was really happening. Four months of work finally coming together to create this youth ministry, Element Student Ministries. Now....let me tell you, what a week. On Monday I started to feel so sick, not the normal sick, but beyond aweful sick. On Tuesday, I went to the doctor and found out I had pneumonia. On Wednesday I have Elements launch service. Now as a youth pastor at a church plant, you just don't miss your launch service. Wednesday was exhausting. I kept losing my energy and prayed the whole time. I must admit that I thought that I was not going to make it. I must admit my faith was low...and I was tired.

Let me tell you how awesome the night was. I didn't know if any students would show up. We had 5 students show up. These students don't come to church. They are students that we have connected with by eating lunch at the middle school every week! I was so excited as Element began. By the end of the night I was curled up in the church nursery crying from exhuastion, but crying tears of joy because God had began something awesome tonight. I just know its gonna grow. I know Gods heart breaks for the lost students of Willard. I am excited to sacrifice to be a part of this ministry. Its gonna be worth it. Its gonna be worth it!

Now....pray I get better! I am still very weak and my lungs hurt! :(

Hiking Adventures with Josh and Denise!

Disclaimer: Soo...I thought I would finally post a fun post with pictures! I've been super busy and must admit I've not been the best blogger! :)

Sooo....I love hiking! Recently my I have found friends who are beginning to love hiking as well. Which let me tell you, these people are hard to come by in Missori! Anyways, the other day I took two of my friends with me. The girl...it was her first time! The other guy has already hiked a mountain...so it wasn't as exciting. But it was a lot of fun EXCEPT FOR ONE FACT: Missouri hiking is so different. (Spiders as big as gorillas and snakes tormented us!) My friend josh walked ahead swirling a stick in order to avoid cob webs with creapy spiders everywhere!

It was super fun! Above are some pics from the adventure! :)

NERVES

nerves....that is all I feel right now! I need this job....Lord provide! Please....deliver me from Crystal Suites! AMEN!

Youth Minstry Development....what?

With the launch service a week away for Element Student Ministries, I have found myself either excited out of my mind or feeling like this thing is entirely over my head! Last night I had my second leaders meeting! Can I just say God has blessed me with some great youth leaders! Already we are setting the pace and believing God for great things.

Planting a youth ministry was not taught to me in the classroom. I never heard the words, how to develop a youth ministry when there is none. I even googled it the other day and only found one link for resources on developing a youth ministry! This is an exciting place, WHY? Well, because we don't really know what we are doing. We are just following God and getting creative! Sometimes I laugh with my leaders because they look to me to be the expert! Well...lets have an honest moment. I have interned with three youth pastors, beeen a youth leader for 5 years, and graudated from college with a BA in youth ministries, but I still don't know everything. Far from it....with every planning meeting and every order of service I attempt to put together...I realize how much I admire my mentors and teachers. I admire my youth pastors and the youth pastors who mentored me!

Soo....as I sit here today...I begin to think of this awesome opportunity! God do great things!